Overwhelmed

I've gone through another surgery.  This one is the worse!  The surgeon said it would be painful and he was right.  Removal of two external hemorrhoids hasn't been a walk in the park.  I have to remind myself that it has only been a week.  Energy is hard to come back and I have so much to do!

Today was hard.  I hate taking pain meds and only take it when all else fails.  So, I took one an hour ago.  I am better but drowsy so, Wayne will drive me to pick up the kids from school in an hour.  I miss them something fierce.  Before my doctor's visit today, we stopped by and I got hugs and loves from them.  Love those small gifts!

Finding out that Mom has cancer has knocked me for a loop too.  She called today wondering how I was.  My Aunt Hilda called this week after seeing my post about Mom's cancer.  Good to hear from her but my dam broke and the tears fell.  I told Hilda about my operation which she said is the worse operation to go through.  So, she must have called Mom and told her I was in pain.

Mom finally told m that her family doctor reviewed her ultrasound results and said it is likely cancer.  It took a lot to get that out of my mother.  I kept asking about what he said and she brushed it off as her doctor is always pessimistic. 

I tried to comfort her and say that it could be a fibroid tumor--which it could be.  I don't know if they took a biopsy so, with no biopsy, it could be.  Praying it is.  She goes to see a GYN surgeon on October 6.  She will have a flurry of tests as well.

I have been debating whether to go down when her surgery is scheduled or wait.  I surprised myself when I told her that I would be there when she goes into surgery.  Guess that is it, I wanted the LORD to direct me on the decision....didn't realize He would be my mouthpiece!

I am a person who analyzes things to death.  Determining "what ifs" and scenarios are my specialty when it comes to crisis management.  However, I have been fighting that urge to try to be in control and ready.  Instead, as I say to myself, "I will cast my cares on You."  The LORD has pointed out to me over and over since I found out about Mom that I need to let go and let Him take charge and rest in His Peace.  Not an easy thing for me but I am trying.

I know that I have to heal my body before flying down to Florida.  I wanted Mom to see the doctor early but the LORD provided the 6th of October for now.  Oddly enough I just saw my surgeon today and he said in three weeks I should be feeling back to normal.  Three weeks is October 14.  I pray that Mom gets in surgery right away and that I can be there in time....the LORD has this.

In the meantime, I am fighting depression but learning to "Cast all my cares on Him".  My wounds are still healing and so, I will trust Him to heal me and then I can be a help to my Mom.