Nels had his MRI done and then we took him to see a neurologist. I really expected that she (the doctor) would tell me that he is fine. However, she didn't. I had been forewarned that neurologists are not the warmest people and sometimes rude. This was from my friend, Joanne, who has gone to a few. So, I was pleasantly surprised that she was so warm.
She was awesome! I told her my expectations upfront. I wanted to know what is going on with Nels' brain and what to expect. She spent an hour and a half with us. Patiently, she told us (Nels was right there) that Nels has severe brain atrophy--the worse she has ever seen and she has seen many brain MRIs, CTs and PET scans. Nels has a brain of a 99 year old with dementia. She drew me a map of his brain and showed me that he only operates with 25% of a normal brain. Part of his brain was dead due to stroke and the rest was atrophied and useless. I was shocked!
She put Nels through several memory, balance and coordination tests. Nels didn't do too bad on most of them. She held out both arms and wiggled both hands. She asked him which hand was she wiggled her fingers. His reply was the right. She asked, "Only the right?" He confirmed that. She was wiggling both hands. His stroke on the right side prevented him from seeing the left hand wiggling.
She had a few more questions and the answers to those questions resulted in taking a few more tests. This time they were drawings and sequences. Nels had to draw a 3D box and do a clock face with a set time, and two patterns together. He failed on all three. She explained that this showed that he has frontal lobe dementia. The frontal lobe is responsible for the executive functions. It controls organization, apathy, sequences, multi-tasking, and more.
This explained so much about Nels. I had told her about his non-stop TV watching, his roaming, just standing there robotic without any interaction, his inability to complete a job, and do two or three tasks. I felt so good that I had a better understanding!
Since then I have read so many books and online research on frontal lobe dementia. I have joined four (so far) FaceBook support groups. It has helped so much! Now, I understand this person who is Nels. The old Nels is gone and this one is the one we have to take care of and all his behaviors.
Saturday, July 7, 2018
Monday, June 4, 2018
Brain Works
I am consumed with learning about the brain. A big reason for that is my brother-in-law, Nels. Today, I took him to a doctor appointment due to recent developments in his behavior and other issues. Nels has had multiple strokes in the past, as well as, a major car accident that left him in a coma for several days in 1987.
Lately, Nels has had changes in his behavior from a low key personality to frustration and impatience. He also cannot navigate a shopping cart without hitting something. So, I decided to make an appointment. Our doctor asked Nels several questions. He asked if the counseling was working and Nels' answer was "not really." He asked about balance and Nels said he was off balance the other day at Thelma's Place (I didn't know this). Nels said that he is upset that he can't do some of the things he used to do like juggling. I guess he has several hacky sacks that he used to juggle and can't now. He also said that since his dental was worked on (back in December), he can't smile like he used to.
My red flags were waving in formation after all that and so was the doctor's! He ordered a MRI and told me to make an appointment with a neurologist he recommended. I had him explain what his records show about his brain. It was in 2014 when his last CAT scan was done. One of his ventricles (two long thin shaped fluid filled areas in our brains) was enlarged quite a bit. This means that his brain is shrinking. His frontal lobe has a large area where it is atrophied which again means shrinkage.
It is interesting and so I spent an hour on-line trying to find out more information. I came to the conclusion that there is little understandable information out there--most of it goes over my head and I need a medical degree to understand any part of it. Why don't they make it easier to understand? However, my Irish stubborness will prevail! I will find other means of getting my information.
The brain is an amazing organ. The more I read, the more I believe in Divine creation. Such a complex organ that does so much!
Lately, Nels has had changes in his behavior from a low key personality to frustration and impatience. He also cannot navigate a shopping cart without hitting something. So, I decided to make an appointment. Our doctor asked Nels several questions. He asked if the counseling was working and Nels' answer was "not really." He asked about balance and Nels said he was off balance the other day at Thelma's Place (I didn't know this). Nels said that he is upset that he can't do some of the things he used to do like juggling. I guess he has several hacky sacks that he used to juggle and can't now. He also said that since his dental was worked on (back in December), he can't smile like he used to.
My red flags were waving in formation after all that and so was the doctor's! He ordered a MRI and told me to make an appointment with a neurologist he recommended. I had him explain what his records show about his brain. It was in 2014 when his last CAT scan was done. One of his ventricles (two long thin shaped fluid filled areas in our brains) was enlarged quite a bit. This means that his brain is shrinking. His frontal lobe has a large area where it is atrophied which again means shrinkage.
It is interesting and so I spent an hour on-line trying to find out more information. I came to the conclusion that there is little understandable information out there--most of it goes over my head and I need a medical degree to understand any part of it. Why don't they make it easier to understand? However, my Irish stubborness will prevail! I will find other means of getting my information.
The brain is an amazing organ. The more I read, the more I believe in Divine creation. Such a complex organ that does so much!
Saturday, June 2, 2018
Two Years in a Nutshell
Unbelievable that my last post two years ago was about depression. In the past years, depression wasn't a recurring visitor. Though there was plenty of times for it to rear it's ugly head and stay. I have had brief encounters but I have learnt to lean on the LORD more and more that now it is second nature. Sure, I may first react with panic but I always end up in His Loving Arms finding a warm comfort there through my storms.
To sum up the last two years: We rescued Nels, Wayne's brother from a bad situation in Utah. He has stroke dementia and some mental disabilities from several strokes and a car accident in 1986 where he was in a coma for several weeks. It has been an interesting adjustment for us with it's challenges. I keep in mind a scripture a friend of mine gave me who is taking care of her husband suffering from dementia; "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for Me." Matthew 25:40, 45.
I almost lost my mom twice. Once due to uterus cancer and second to c-diff and diverticulitis a year apart. It was a very difficult thing to see my mom this way. But the LORD restored her health for more time here on Earth with us and I am very grateful. He showed me compassion and a strength I didn't know I had during those times. Part if me wanted to hold on to her and another part knew I had to let her go. I am thankful that God gave me more time with her.
I have fulfilled my goal that I had when I first went to college--teach art to children. Funny, life got in the way but in retirement, I do what I wanted all along. I pursued an art degree at first but had to abandon that dream. But God is Good! In my retirement, I volunteer teach art literacy at the school my grandkids attend. I love it!! I usually teach Grace's class and the Kindergarteners. I also help out Grace's teacher with the advanced readers as well as the ones who are struggling with their reading.
I love being a part of my grandkids' day at school. They will grow up and soon not want to be around me--I hope I am wrong. It is my prayer that they will always let me be a good part of their lives, but time will tell.
Why the sudden interest in doing this blog? Last week, I began bringing Nels to Thelma's Place--a place for those with memory problems, dementia and Alzheimer's. A respite for Wayne and me and some place for Nels to socialize and have a safe place to do so.
Nels and I went for lunch and a little while last Friday to check out the place. We sat with the clients and participated in their morning schedule. I went around the room and shook hands, telling each one my name. Everyone had a name tag with the state that they originally came from. I sat next to Phyllis who came from North Dakota. She sat with a large book on her lap. I remarked that I lived in South Dakota. She said, "Yes, I remember meeting you then." I never met her. Phyllis stroked her book and kept saying, "I have to get this back to him." She had baby dolls next to her and so did a couple of other women.
We sang songs and exercised from our seats. Some of the folks were into doing it and some just smiled. Different stages of dementia. Real people with memories captive somewhere unreachable. Making a memory in the moment to release it into a fog never to be found again. So sad.
So, I am doing this blog because I fear dementia. I fear what they live every day. My great uncle had Alzheimer's and my favorite aunt had dementia. I may never get dementia but if I do, I want to have my memories documented so that when I can't remember they will be here. If my loved ones want to read about them, they are here.
On the day I brought Nels for his first visit, I was talking to Gayle (who has her mom there) in-front of the entrance when I saw Larry coming up the way. Larry was a board member a the college who I had to face several ties to present my proposals and bid recommendations. He would hold my feet to the fire to make sure that I had the best interests of the college and students at heart. He taught me a lot and I truly respected him. After he left the college, he would put together a BBQ at Aurora Airport for the pilots and those working at his daughters business-MII where Wayne worked.
That was three years ago. I called his name, Larry Wright! He looked up and said he didn't know me. I tried to explain about him being a board member but he looked confused. Larry has dementia and is deteriorating fast. I drove away, tears in my eyes. LORD please don't let me get dementia. Not for my sake but for my loved ones and those who know me.
Time is precious, make your memories ones others will treasure beyond today.
To sum up the last two years: We rescued Nels, Wayne's brother from a bad situation in Utah. He has stroke dementia and some mental disabilities from several strokes and a car accident in 1986 where he was in a coma for several weeks. It has been an interesting adjustment for us with it's challenges. I keep in mind a scripture a friend of mine gave me who is taking care of her husband suffering from dementia; "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for Me." Matthew 25:40, 45.
I almost lost my mom twice. Once due to uterus cancer and second to c-diff and diverticulitis a year apart. It was a very difficult thing to see my mom this way. But the LORD restored her health for more time here on Earth with us and I am very grateful. He showed me compassion and a strength I didn't know I had during those times. Part if me wanted to hold on to her and another part knew I had to let her go. I am thankful that God gave me more time with her.
I have fulfilled my goal that I had when I first went to college--teach art to children. Funny, life got in the way but in retirement, I do what I wanted all along. I pursued an art degree at first but had to abandon that dream. But God is Good! In my retirement, I volunteer teach art literacy at the school my grandkids attend. I love it!! I usually teach Grace's class and the Kindergarteners. I also help out Grace's teacher with the advanced readers as well as the ones who are struggling with their reading.
I love being a part of my grandkids' day at school. They will grow up and soon not want to be around me--I hope I am wrong. It is my prayer that they will always let me be a good part of their lives, but time will tell.
Why the sudden interest in doing this blog? Last week, I began bringing Nels to Thelma's Place--a place for those with memory problems, dementia and Alzheimer's. A respite for Wayne and me and some place for Nels to socialize and have a safe place to do so.
Nels and I went for lunch and a little while last Friday to check out the place. We sat with the clients and participated in their morning schedule. I went around the room and shook hands, telling each one my name. Everyone had a name tag with the state that they originally came from. I sat next to Phyllis who came from North Dakota. She sat with a large book on her lap. I remarked that I lived in South Dakota. She said, "Yes, I remember meeting you then." I never met her. Phyllis stroked her book and kept saying, "I have to get this back to him." She had baby dolls next to her and so did a couple of other women.
We sang songs and exercised from our seats. Some of the folks were into doing it and some just smiled. Different stages of dementia. Real people with memories captive somewhere unreachable. Making a memory in the moment to release it into a fog never to be found again. So sad.
So, I am doing this blog because I fear dementia. I fear what they live every day. My great uncle had Alzheimer's and my favorite aunt had dementia. I may never get dementia but if I do, I want to have my memories documented so that when I can't remember they will be here. If my loved ones want to read about them, they are here.
On the day I brought Nels for his first visit, I was talking to Gayle (who has her mom there) in-front of the entrance when I saw Larry coming up the way. Larry was a board member a the college who I had to face several ties to present my proposals and bid recommendations. He would hold my feet to the fire to make sure that I had the best interests of the college and students at heart. He taught me a lot and I truly respected him. After he left the college, he would put together a BBQ at Aurora Airport for the pilots and those working at his daughters business-MII where Wayne worked.
That was three years ago. I called his name, Larry Wright! He looked up and said he didn't know me. I tried to explain about him being a board member but he looked confused. Larry has dementia and is deteriorating fast. I drove away, tears in my eyes. LORD please don't let me get dementia. Not for my sake but for my loved ones and those who know me.
Time is precious, make your memories ones others will treasure beyond today.
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Depression
I can be so together in everyone’s eyes and then the one person who can knock me to the ground effortlessly does just that. My mom. This morning I called her and the topic turned to the fact that now my niece wants to move in with my mom. Let's see—my worthless brother, my sister, my nephew and now my niece. Three of them mooching off of mom, one at least helping mom and add one more to the list of moochers. I asked my mom where my niece would sleep. Her answer-the couch or a recliner. Sigh, I told her she needs to just say “No, she can’t support another person.”
She then told me that she wished my sister would move in with her boyfriend. She’s rather get rid of the one person helping her than stand up to the others. This just solidifies what Joanne keeps telling me--Mom has only one child in her mind-her son. My poor sister. Hard enough she is 8 in her mind. After discussing where Joanne would go if she didn’t move in with her boyfriend, Mom starting acting like she was fighting to keep her there saying that Joanne loves her room at the house.. Is this dementia? Or some age thing?
I told mom that I don’t like seeing her being taken advantage of and what my mom said put me in a tailspin for the rest of the day. She told me that she has almost all of her family living with her and that she loves it. Her sister, Hilda, is jealous. She also said that I am too damn independent and that is my problem. So, I get from this that my mom thinks that living there and taking her for granted is to be admired and independence is arrogant? I had to change the subject, I couldn’t take it anymore. This is the third time that I have been put down because of my independence. Independence being that I didn’t live with my parents until I die.
I am grateful that Alison has an independent nature and proud of what she has done with her life—why can’t my own mom be proud of me for the same? Why? Has this world turned upside down? Strong decent values are frowned upon and being trustworthy is not high on the list for political candidates.
I was depressed all day. Thinking of going to a counselor. Maybe go back on Prozac though I hate drugs but I really need to find strength in Him not drugs. I am dreading going to Florida but I promised mom that I would visit again and more. Lord help me.
She then told me that she wished my sister would move in with her boyfriend. She’s rather get rid of the one person helping her than stand up to the others. This just solidifies what Joanne keeps telling me--Mom has only one child in her mind-her son. My poor sister. Hard enough she is 8 in her mind. After discussing where Joanne would go if she didn’t move in with her boyfriend, Mom starting acting like she was fighting to keep her there saying that Joanne loves her room at the house.. Is this dementia? Or some age thing?
I told mom that I don’t like seeing her being taken advantage of and what my mom said put me in a tailspin for the rest of the day. She told me that she has almost all of her family living with her and that she loves it. Her sister, Hilda, is jealous. She also said that I am too damn independent and that is my problem. So, I get from this that my mom thinks that living there and taking her for granted is to be admired and independence is arrogant? I had to change the subject, I couldn’t take it anymore. This is the third time that I have been put down because of my independence. Independence being that I didn’t live with my parents until I die.
I am grateful that Alison has an independent nature and proud of what she has done with her life—why can’t my own mom be proud of me for the same? Why? Has this world turned upside down? Strong decent values are frowned upon and being trustworthy is not high on the list for political candidates.
I was depressed all day. Thinking of going to a counselor. Maybe go back on Prozac though I hate drugs but I really need to find strength in Him not drugs. I am dreading going to Florida but I promised mom that I would visit again and more. Lord help me.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Rose
I had just picked up the kids from school when I stopped at an intersection and right across from me in the crosswalk was Rose. Rose is a cute little old lady who wears a red hat and some frumpy outfits--who we came across years ago. We saw her first at the restaurant in town. She was in a booth by herself eating her soup and sipping coffee. Suddenly, she burst out loudly some profanity. Others were shocked but Wayne and I not so. A couple of our athletes have the same disorder. It is uncontrollable and one should not be offended. We weren't. We asked about her to the waitress. She told us that she was named Rose and is a regular.
So, we paid her bill without her knowing and did so every time we happened to be eating at the same restaurant as Rose. We loved it. Our hearts would warm when we saw her around town and we would say, "That's our Rose!"
Today Rose was in the crosswalk and for a moment, it appeared that she was disorientated. I watched and was thinking of how I could come to the rescue with the grandkids in tow. Fortunately, she redirected herself and went to the other side without any problem.
Grace asked who she was and I told her brother and her about Rose. I explained that Rose's brain doesn't work like ours but that doesn't mean that she isn't important. She just has a difficult time. Somehow we got on the topic of old people and their memory. I asked if I had problems with my memory and my brain wasn't working good would they still love me? Without hesitating the both of them said, "Yes, we will always love you, Nana!"
I told them that when I am really old, it might be hard on mom to take care of me then I would have to go into a home. Grace asked if that cost money and she was appalled that it did. In her opinion, old people shouldn't have to pay for someone taking care of them, it should be free.
Interesting conversations happen a lot in my car transporting the grandkids to day care. Love their inquisive minds. I hope that they will have compassion to those individuals like Rose in the future because of our conversion today.
So, we paid her bill without her knowing and did so every time we happened to be eating at the same restaurant as Rose. We loved it. Our hearts would warm when we saw her around town and we would say, "That's our Rose!"
Today Rose was in the crosswalk and for a moment, it appeared that she was disorientated. I watched and was thinking of how I could come to the rescue with the grandkids in tow. Fortunately, she redirected herself and went to the other side without any problem.
Grace asked who she was and I told her brother and her about Rose. I explained that Rose's brain doesn't work like ours but that doesn't mean that she isn't important. She just has a difficult time. Somehow we got on the topic of old people and their memory. I asked if I had problems with my memory and my brain wasn't working good would they still love me? Without hesitating the both of them said, "Yes, we will always love you, Nana!"
I told them that when I am really old, it might be hard on mom to take care of me then I would have to go into a home. Grace asked if that cost money and she was appalled that it did. In her opinion, old people shouldn't have to pay for someone taking care of them, it should be free.
Interesting conversations happen a lot in my car transporting the grandkids to day care. Love their inquisive minds. I hope that they will have compassion to those individuals like Rose in the future because of our conversion today.
Janice
I've decided to not try to revisit the past months for my blog but to continue on.
Today, we visited Janice. I love Janice. She is one of my bowlers. I don't know her age but I can guess she is in her late sixties. She is very obese but that never stops her from bowling or driving until this Christmas. She suffered three heart attacks and ended up in a rehabilitation center where she is now.
A couple of days ago, her husband, Eugene (another one of my bowlers) called me to let me know that Janice wasn't doing well. I felt guilty not visiting her since she first went in. Life got busy and then I went through this surgery. Nonetheless, I knew I had to go today and see her. I'm glad we did. She looked bad--she was confined to a bed and I noticed that she gained even more weight. Her hair was thinning out and her gout affected her hands.
I brought some roses for her which she liked. We talked and I couldn't help but think this might be the last time we do. She told me that she was supposed to move to a bigger room but since they still need to watch her, she is still in this room.
I think back at better times when Wayne would flirt with her and she would laugh and beam. As we were leaving, I hugged her and then Wayne said "Goodbye"....but she wouldn't have none of it. Janice insisted that he come over to her and give her a big hug--she was laughing the whole time and had that gleam in her eye. If the Good Lord takes her soon, I want to remember her just like this with that gleam and that laugh.
Today, we visited Janice. I love Janice. She is one of my bowlers. I don't know her age but I can guess she is in her late sixties. She is very obese but that never stops her from bowling or driving until this Christmas. She suffered three heart attacks and ended up in a rehabilitation center where she is now.
A couple of days ago, her husband, Eugene (another one of my bowlers) called me to let me know that Janice wasn't doing well. I felt guilty not visiting her since she first went in. Life got busy and then I went through this surgery. Nonetheless, I knew I had to go today and see her. I'm glad we did. She looked bad--she was confined to a bed and I noticed that she gained even more weight. Her hair was thinning out and her gout affected her hands.
I brought some roses for her which she liked. We talked and I couldn't help but think this might be the last time we do. She told me that she was supposed to move to a bigger room but since they still need to watch her, she is still in this room.
I think back at better times when Wayne would flirt with her and she would laugh and beam. As we were leaving, I hugged her and then Wayne said "Goodbye"....but she wouldn't have none of it. Janice insisted that he come over to her and give her a big hug--she was laughing the whole time and had that gleam in her eye. If the Good Lord takes her soon, I want to remember her just like this with that gleam and that laugh.
Been Awhile
So, my surgery on my thumb went well--the recovery was the pits! My right hand was useless for eight weeks. Today I have the small wrist brace on. It comes off tomorrow--I am estactic! Freedom at last! Though I have not been a good patient when I received the brace. It was easy to take it off and do more but alas, my thumb after awhile would object.
The brace is much better then the casts I received. In eight weeks, I have more respect for my right hand, learned how to use my left hand more and used all my four fingers on my right hand in place of my thumb.
Granted I push the envelope or in my case, my thumb, by writing, typing and today sewing longer than I should. It is okay--my body and mind sometimes disconnect and I feel I am superwoman....that thought process ends as soon as the reality hits.
It feels good to be able to do more with my right hand and yes, I will push it just like I always do!
The brace is much better then the casts I received. In eight weeks, I have more respect for my right hand, learned how to use my left hand more and used all my four fingers on my right hand in place of my thumb.
Granted I push the envelope or in my case, my thumb, by writing, typing and today sewing longer than I should. It is okay--my body and mind sometimes disconnect and I feel I am superwoman....that thought process ends as soon as the reality hits.
It feels good to be able to do more with my right hand and yes, I will push it just like I always do!
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