Is 2014 Over Yet?

I don't even know where to begin.  Last week, Leslea visited from Utah for Christmas. Just before that I was still shell shocked about Melissa passing away.

Sunday, we were on our way to exchange a gift I got for Grace when Larry called. He had been in an accident with my truck. We had lent him the truck to move some last minute things from the old house to the new.

Praise God, he wasn't hurt badly.  As the officer said, a milli-second more and he would have been t-boned and in pretty bad shape.  The other driver ran a stop light and ran into the front driver side of my truck.  Larry had a slight concussion and went to the emergency room with his parents while Alison took care of a couple of things (then she went to the ER). Leslea took care of the kids while we sorted things out with the other driver, the police, the witnesses and the towing company.

Mega stress!  I never had to deal with this before but managed.  My knee was swollen and hurting during the whole ordeal.

So, the last couple of days, I have had to deal with the insurance company and the rental company.  It will cost me $500 (my deductible) but I should be getting that back since my insurance is going after the other guy's insurance--I pray it is a legit insurance!

Friday, I worked out at the gym as I always do and felt a stabbing pain in my calf. Figuring that I strained it, I stretched it out.  It felt good enough to go on a 2+ mile bike ride. Unfortunately, that night, pains started shooting down my leg from my knee to my calf.  It was on and off so I tolerated it until Monday. I called my surgeon and fortunately, they got me in.

When I came through the hospital doors, my knee locked, the pain returned and didn't leave.  I barely got into a wheelchair. I never cry in public but I was then and apologizing constantly.

I saw my surgeon who was surprised as I was as to what was going on.  I had to get x-rays done and a MRI. Both put me in extraordinary pain just getting onto the tables.  The x-ray technician had to practically carry me.

The x-rays didn't show anything but Dr. Tella could feel something in the big lump on the side of my knee. He suspected either a free floater or torn meniscus--either one would mean bio-scopic surgery.  I had to wait 4 hours for a MRI but there was no way I was leaving my wheelchair.

I have a deeper appreciation of handicap accessible bathrooms. I managed to get in one and out with the LORD's help--I don't think He minded me praying in a stall while I attempted to do my thing.

Today, my knee is behaving which makes me think it is a "free floater" and the critter has found a home in my knee where it is happy for now.

Wayne dropped off Leslea at the airport and soon after I received a call from her saying the TSA had taken most of her things due to a "powder" that showed up from a broken bowl in her luggage.  Fortunately, that was all resolved later. She didn't get all her stuff back but what she didn't can be replaced.

We picked up our vehicle yesterday from the rental place.  Not a car but a huge truck--a gas guzzler.  Sigh, looks like we won't use it that much.  I'm just praying that nothing happens to that truck--we are responsible for up to $500 of any damage no matter how small.

Then, today I met with my doctor about a couple of moles.  Sure enough, they are precancerous and he wants me to have them removed by a specialist.

If that wasn't enough, Leslea just called and said Bob and her are done!

All this stress--what do I do???  Hit the sugar of course!  Well, I got pretty sick this afternoon and have decided it is time to divorce my love of sugar.  More stress I know in trying to quit cold turkey but it needs to be done.  I have come to this conclusion three times in the past four days.

I pray 2015 is going to be alot less stressful!

Happy New Year!

Found this on Facebook:

40 Resolutions That Will Make 2015 A Heck Of A Lot Easier On You

Pick and choose your way to your best year YET.With 2015 right around the corner, it’s a great time to look at the year we’ve had and make a few tweaks in preparation for the one ahead. Read below for 40 a la carte resolutions guaranteed to help make 2015 the best year yet. Pick and choose a few, or, if you’re ready for a total life change, commit to all of them!

1. Accept that you are now entering the next year of your life and your status quo should change. You are taking the lessons of the past year (and those before it) and making tweaks, for you, and not anyone else. 
2. Do not do “anything” for a love that is not doing anything for you. Doing so is not romantic or noble, it’s a sign that something deep inside of you needs to be addressed.
3. When you can, put in that extra effort required to be extraordinary. Doing so will create a life that is much fuller (and even sparkles a little).
4. When you leave a room, be the person they want to see again ... and not the one who makes them breathe a sigh of relief when the door closes behind you.
5. Stop. Following. Dangled. Carrots.
6. Recognize that those who speak negatively about others aren’t innovative or interesting. They are simply sad and common, and bring joy only when they leave the room.Make an effort not only to not be one of those people, but to let them know you’re not interested in engaging them.
7. Forgive my candor, but don’t be anyone’s b!@*%.
8. If you want an answer to a question, go to the source. Going to someone else for “advice” about how another human being feels is like choosing a fortune teller over an encyclopedia.
9. Instead of judging everyone around you, people you don’t know, and yourself for being a human being (all of whom are flawed in their own way) try to understand and actually get somewhere.
10. Love, forgive and support with commitment or don’t do it at all.
11. Let go of the desire to manipulate your way in and out of places and relationships. Just be yourself and go where you are invited in; that's where you belong.
12. Stop putting yourself down and stop placing others on a pedestal.
13. Plan a few trips with your friends and just live with a smile on your face a few days.
14. Pick up a book at least one time for every three you pick up the remote.
15. Accept that you are worth way more than you are bargaining for.
16. See kindness for what it really is: strength and wisdom. Respect it and don't take it for granted.
17. Be the kind of person you would really like to have in your life.
18. Show gratitude for the life you have been given. Also, show gratitude for the life you are able to give yourself and show appreciation to those who share both with you.
19. Doing nothing is not a waste of time. Doing something you know won’t work over and overis. Stop doing that.
20. Do the right thing, right now. Repeat.
21. Try to get your multivitamin by way of actual food.
22. Don’t just have a heart, prove that you do, even when no one will know.
23. Make your spiritual health as important as your physical health and tone your mind more than you tone your booty.
24. Do something that adds value to a life every single day and don't wait for someone to love you before you love yourself.
25. Share more experiences than wishes, more compliments than complaints, more smiles than scowls.
26. Be a Vintage Spider on the coastline, not a fire truck pushing its way through the streets. And for goodness sakes, don't be an old caddy collecting dust in someone's garage.
27. Get a mentor. Be a mentor. 
28. Find reasons to laugh at the nuances of life, but never at people.
29. Hope with intelligence. Get up with an intention. Create with inspiration.
30. Make every season one of giving. Send notes of appreciation and volunteer to feed the homeless in summer, collect clothing for a women’s shelter in the spring.
31. Take a chance on love.
32. Set daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly goals for yourself. Keep these goals on a calendar where you can see them. Check in with yourself monthly to see that you’re on-track to make them.
33. Be good to the souls around you (and the one inside of you).
34. Drink three times as much water as you do caffeine and/or alcohol.
35. Whether it’s a food, a route or smiling at the woman who serves your coffee, try something new every single day.
36. Say “Please” and “Thank you” each and every time.
37. Move on with your life with people who want to be in it and say goodbye to those who do not. It won’t be easy, but some people do not want to go with you at the pace you are going and that’s OK.
38. Remember that everyone we meet has a “secret life” we don’t know about. That “bad attitude” could be the side effects of a whole lot of pain.
39. Stay in your own lane and focus on your own journey. Go at your own pace and don't ever be afraid to pass by people who are making you late to your destination.
40. Love yourself, even when you don't like yourself. Have your own back and protect yourself the way you would your very best friend.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve was wonderful!  Leslea visited from Utah, Alison and Larry and kids were here.  I think Hunter said it best when he said, "BEST CHRISTMAS, EVER!"

Grace made the place cards.

Miss Grace showing off her Christmas dress.

I made the kids each a full bed size blanket for them and they loved them!

The Robinsons

My family

Larry post opening up gifts

So sweet!

The Robinson Girls

100% Debt Free!!!!

We gave ourselves a big Christmas present this year--we paid the house off!! Such a great feeling that we don't have any debt! Dave Ramsey would be proud of us--heck, I'm proud of us.

We didn't have that much left.  I was going to pay it off January 15 but now seemed a good time.  I just did a preliminary estimate of our taxes and we are getting a good amount back--almost enough to pay for our siding.

I bought this house in 1998 on a 30 year loan.  Not bad, paid off in 16 years!  It was my goal to pay it off before we go on Medicare.  We paid extra as much as we could each month.

So, praise You LORD for making this possible!

What To Count

Yesterday, I finally finished one of my time consuming projects--dumping excess files from my computer....over 10,000 of them! A huge project that I put on my 4/15 list.

What's 4/15?  I devote 15 minutes 4 days a week to a project that is on my 4/15 list.  This project has been on there for awhile.  My friend, Steve, told me about this idea.  It has been great to work on projects that are overwhelming.  There are several on my list that will be there forever (or so it seems):  cleaning out my photos, updating my blog, scanning the grand kids drawings, zentangle drawing, and working on my scrapbooks.

My blog has progressed due to spending the maximum of 15 minutes 4 days a week.

While I was cleaning up my files, I found this piece of advice and it is so appropriate during the Christmas season:

What To Count

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself.

~author unknown~

Bike Ride with "Speed Racer"

This morning between the raindrops; I decided to ride my bike up to Alison's and Larry's new home.  It is approximately .75 miles one way.  Alison was in the midst of finding items in her unpacked boxes.  Hunter wanted to come with me on my bike ride and I was happy to oblige!  

We rode down to Baker Prairie and went on the logging road, down 13th and back to his house.  I had to stop him several times since he was doing sprints.  He is a boy after all and was very patient with my slow speed....well, I am not too slow.  He gave me one heck of a workout.  

My plans were to go swimming today as well.  However, I had enough of a workout with Hunter.  I dropped him off and was thankful that I could slow down to my normal speed.  

I have "Map My Ride" on my phone which tracks how far I go, speed, etc.  I did 3.13 miles for 43.15 minutes at 4.6 mph and burned 273 calories.  Not bad for post knee surgery!  Looks like I will have to bike with Hunter more--at least once a week to get an intense workout!

Bittersweet Saturday

"Bittersweet" describes this rainy Saturday.  In California, the funeral for Melissa is happening.  It is a full military honor funeral with 20 gun salute and all.  Melissa was serving in the Air Force when she contracted cancer.

My heart goes out to her family there. Here in Canby this is the day that Alison, Larry and the grandchildren move into their new home.  It is a beautiful house and they love it!  I am so glad that they found the house of their dreams.

We helped for a short while at the old house moving things but it was clear, we were useless.  Both Wayne and can't lift much so, after I got all the pictures off the walls; I determined we would be more help if we just took the kids to our house and watched them.

We watched "Teenage Ninja Turtles" while eating Burgerville fish and chips.  I don't need the junk food.  However, we were both exhausted so, it was the best choice of the moment.

Sadness and joy in one day.  What a combination.  However, when I focus on Him, He shows me a different perspective.  Both events are similar. Both Melissa and Alison enter their new homes.  Melissa in her new dwelling in Heaven; Alison in her earthly dwelling here.

My Bible scripture this morning was Psalm 28:7, "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped."  He has helped me once again to see through His eyes not mine.

You don’t know what you got until it isn't there!

This morning I biked to the club where I work out.  It was a crisp dry morning and it felt great!  You don’t know what you got until it is taken away is so true! October 17 this year, I had partial knee replacement surgery. 

Nasty!

Six weeks of physical therapy got my knee back to a full range of motion.  However, during those weeks, it was so discouraging not being able to walk much, swim or bike.  In the second week, I managed to ride the bike in the gym, not my bike until a couple of days later. I was so excited and of course, I overdid.  It is so easy to do since I feel so much better but the knee wasn't quite there.

First Day Back On My Bike!

My first “long” walk (about one mile) felt fantastic!  The pain that I had in my knee for many years was gone!  I was a little sore due to post surgery.  But, it felt so good to be mobile again!

Swimming wouldn’t happen until my wound healed.  It did so at week five.  My physical therapy and healing was quick and amazed both my PT and surgeon…and most of all—me!

I love swimming! My knee instructed me which strokes are okay and those that are not on my first swim.  I planned on doing 500 yards and 15 minutes.  Key word here is “planned”.  I ended up with 1100 yards in 35 minutes at just under a minute a lap (slower than my normal half a minute). Yes, I hurt but I was so happy to finally get back into the pool. 

I praise Him for the healing He has done; and most of all of giving me a deeper appreciation of being mobile.  

"Why?"

I found this on FaceBook and its timing is perfect:

 "I’ve realized that trying to figure out why God allows certain things to happen is a bit like chasing the wind and trying to turn it into something visible. It’s a chase that will simply wear you out, to very little avail.”

Maybe we shouldn’t be asking “why?” but “what now?”  "What now?" is just a much better question to ask. If we make the choice to let it lead us from our hurt to positive changes, it will! God will.

Continuing to ask “why” will leave us stuck and frustrated. And really, even if God gave us the answer to our why question, it probably would never satisfy us. We would probably weigh out God’s reasons against our hurt and still be hurt.

Our human perspectives simply can’t process God’s multi-dimensional, eternal reasons”. - Lysa TerKeurst

Isaiah 55:8-9 confirms this, “'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are you ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'”

Jeannie, my best friend (and not a believer) from work keeps asking me “Why does God allow …”  I have the same answer, “I don’t know, I just know that the LORD is there.”  I like Lysa’s explanation and will share it when I see Jeannie.  Hopefully, it will be the answer she seeks.

What now? I have learned that life is precious and finite.  The moment is here to treasure. Spending time with loved ones is a precious investment of a lifetime. 

With Melissa’s death so young, it is easy to ask, “Why, LORD?”  And yes, in the past days, I have asked.  He is quiet. Instead of an answer, He wraps His love around me and comforts me.  It is enough, He is enough--He is my Strength, my Helper, my Trust.  

Melissa

I had been thinking about starting my blog again but time got away.  Now, it's almost midnight and I can't sleep.

On Saturday, December 13, my daughter by marriage (step daughter), Melissa, passed away.  Though we haven't been in touch much over the past years, I am grateful that we did become since she was diagnosed with cancer in October.  I regret that I didn't connect with her years ago.

She was spunky and always seemed to have a smile on her face.  I wanted to travel down to California to see her but physically it would have been painful for me to do with my knee surgery recovery.  

Both Alison and Gary, my ex-husband told me that it was best that I don't see her and remember her in her condition.  I will remember her as she was in this photo. Her mom told me that she was a believer in Christ which brings me great comfort. 

Alison and Gary were able to fly down to California Saturday morning to be with her in her final moments.  

Matthew 5:4 says, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." And I learned that day what that truly means.

Wayne and I took care of our grandchildren while Alison was gone and had just heard the news when we were returning from taking them to Discovery Village in Salem.  Minutes after we got back to the house, a friend of mine, Jackie, came by and dropped off a card for us.  

I am so amazed at the LORD's timing and His provision.  In the card was a beautiful cross ornament and The Daily Bread booklet.  A gentle reminder that He has Melissa in His arms and I can take comfort in that.  It is hanging on the wall above my computer monitor to remind me of His love for Melissa as well as me. I look at it often lately and feel His love.

Later, I opened up the booklet and thought that I went to today’s devotion.  It actually was January 13.  The opposite side of the book, January 12 would have been Melissa’s 43^rd birthday.  

The devotion started: “Over the past dozen years since I lost my daughter, many others who have experienced the loss of a loved one have shared with me heartbreaking sentiments…” It ended: “Despair is real in this life, and answers do not come easily. Yet in the darkness—as we remember God’s glory, majesty, power, and love—our despair can slowly subside.”

His Comfort and Love covers my grief and I am humbled once again.  I will miss Melissa but I know we will meet again.  In the mean time, I will remember God’s glory, majesty, power, and love.