Jesus Is My Friend?

I've been doing a Bible Study-"John, Get to Know the Living Savior".  There are several questions throughout..  In the section titled "Relationships", there was a question I hit a wall with.  The question was about how I see Jesus as my friend.

When I read it, I stopped and analyzed my issue with it.  I don't see Him as my Friend. He is my Salvation, my Hope, my Fortress, God, Holy, my Protector.  I reasoned that to call Him friend would be to make Him less than He is. Lovely, I thought that that was the end of it...but...

I was content with my analytic reasoning and moved on in my lesson.  Well, I may have moved on but the Spirit didn't.  It brought me back to that question and revealed so much to me that I was humbled and knew my reasoning was so wrong.

In my past, any close friend didn't stay close--they moved or life moved on.  In France when I was five, I had a wonderful best friend.  We were friends for a year when Dad got orders to Germany.  I was devastated to have to say goodbye. Everywhere we went, I learned that friendships are temporary.  Dad would get orders and I had to say goodbye over and over again. Too many times.

I developed "acquaintances" instead of true friends.  I never let anyone get close, I didn't want to be hurt.  Friendships hurt eventually.  When I moved to Canby, I thought that maybe I could make friends again without fear.  I did for awhile with a neighbor.  After a year, she told me that they were moving.  I was devastated again. My best friend at work after three years moved on to another job and we lost touch.  More hurt, more temporary situations. My shield went up again.

Today I have a couple of close friends.  The shield and I are always at war. If they only knew what a battle I have, they would see how much they mean to me. I want to believe in lasting friendships but I struggle.  It is me, not them who is the problem.

Okay, back to the Bible Study. The Spirit showed me that I can't call Jesus "Friend" because I have learned that friends are temporary.  Friendships are here today, gone tomorrow and cause too much pain when that happens.  However, I have also learned that Jesus is not temporary. I know He is eternal.  He will be there for me.  He will never move away.

I guess I just need to stop battling that darn shield.  I embrace Him as a Forever Friend. I need to trust that He will choose lasting friendships for me. I need to let go of the fear.  Yes, I know what I need to do and I know that it will take time. For now, I struggle with friendships but my shield is slowly losing the battle.