"I missed you--really!"

It's been awhile since we made it to church--both of us sick and family visiting.  I haven't been to TOPS for a couple of weeks either--one week was Christmas Day and the next week was Grace's 4th birthday party.  So it was awhile since I saw my TOPS friends.  Amongst them, Carolyn and Ken who are more like family. 

I was standing talking to someone when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  It was Ken!  I immediately got a warm hug and he said "I missed you, really! I really missed you!"  I was touched, it is so nice to be missed, I felt so great!   I went over and talked to Carolyn and Agnes; I missed them too.

After church, I dropped off Wayne at the house and headed out to pick up my gals, Patty and Kathy two of my Special Olympics bowlers.  Kathy had been calling me before Christmas to do our monthly "girls day out" were we go out to lunch at Sweet Tomatoes and then go to Goodwill to shop.  I look forward to it as much as they do.  With the holidays, it wasn't to be to have our day, so, we postponed it to today.  Kathy called numerous times and when I arrived to pick them up, her new caregiver, Jacob, said that she has been telling everyone about it.

I had some time to wait since they were late getting home from church.  November was our last get together.  I missed them.  When they got home, Amy was with them.  I have been including Amy in our get-togethers but she has been tired and hasn't gone with us in a long time.  She wanted to go and I said yes but I was thinking LORD, I really can't afford to pay all four lunches but I did have a coupon and the time with them was worth more than money.

Then Amy, Kathy and Patty surrounded me and said, "We missed you, Dena, we really missed you!" I responded the same and meant it.  But before we could get going, I had to make sure the caregivers knew that Amy was coming too.  I went to Bruce and Ryan's apartment were the caregivers stay during their shifts.  Bruce and Ryan (my bowlers too) just got home from church too.  Bruce ran up to me and gave me a big hug and said, "I missed you--really, Dena, I really really missed you!"  In that bear squeeze that Bruce held me in, the LORD whispered..."Your question is answered, my dear one."

You see for a couple of days the thought has come to my mind, would anyone really miss me if I should suddenly go to heaven?  No, I am not planning on entering heaven before my time. It was a morbid thought I know but it popped up.  I guess when you are aging and we all are and some of us are closer to that time when we go, it is a thought that surfaces. 

So, I have my answer....I matter to those I love and who love me.  Instead of wasting my energy on thoughts of "what ifs", I should spend my time with those who matter to me and even those who don't because maybe just maybe those thoughts have come across their minds as well.